It's Not Just Today

Today, I decided to revive this old blog of mine containing what seems to be what I was all about in Ateneo, someone who has the guts to cram yet still delivers. Things have changed since graduation and there's a lot more to think about than what Just-In-Time means, or what the statement  "...to be in relation with the other face to face is to be unable to kill" proposes. It seems so easier now, the things I went through in college because I just had to go with the flow. I could blame the institution so easily if I had a lazy day, I could blame the lack of healthy food in the dorm if I gained a few pounds, I could blame my group mates if I had a crappy output. But yeah, things have really changed. Everyone's looking at me and there's no one else to blame. 


*Breaks into song and sings "Look at me Now"*


It doesn't take much to screw up at my job: misplace the decimal, click send to the wrong recipient,  click OK to something unfinished... And it seems I have been screwing up a lot and it just puts me in a position where I doubt myself a lot and I question the things I am doing... Lately, I've been feeling like I'm in the wrong place and it's probably just because I'm living with my parents now which is something I'm not used to. But the truth is, it's more than just the location I'm in, it's more than what industry I'm working in... I think it's about where my heart is...and I'm not talking about how my current relationship doesn't feel right (heck, it's the one thing in my life I'm sure I want to stay in). It's about passion, and I don't have it, for anything. Yeah, I like playing sports, baking, cooking, whatever, but I don't have that one thing I will work hard for and focus on... closest would probably be making power points but seriously making power points as my passion, I want something more than that. 


Some people may be on their way to chasing their dreams now, some people are probably already there...I envy not your success but your decision to focus on something, to have something to dream about. Long story short:college is over; I am more accountable; life feels like it sucks right now (except for my love life, actually); I feel like I can't move because I am not passionate about anything. 


How the hell can you have passion for something? Oh wise one, teach me.