Today, I decided to revive this old blog of mine containing what seems to be what I was all about in Ateneo, someone who has the guts to cram yet still delivers. Things have changed since graduation and there's a lot more to think about than what Just-In-Time means, or what the statement "...to be in relation with the other face to face is to be unable to kill" proposes. It seems so easier now, the things I went through in college because I just had to go with the flow. I could blame the institution so easily if I had a lazy day, I could blame the lack of healthy food in the dorm if I gained a few pounds, I could blame my group mates if I had a crappy output. But yeah, things have really changed. Everyone's looking at me and there's no one else to blame.
*Breaks into song and sings "Look at me Now"*
It doesn't take much to screw up at my job: misplace the decimal, click send to the wrong recipient, click OK to something unfinished... And it seems I have been screwing up a lot and it just puts me in a position where I doubt myself a lot and I question the things I am doing... Lately, I've been feeling like I'm in the wrong place and it's probably just because I'm living with my parents now which is something I'm not used to. But the truth is, it's more than just the location I'm in, it's more than what industry I'm working in... I think it's about where my heart is...and I'm not talking about how my current relationship doesn't feel right (heck, it's the one thing in my life I'm sure I want to stay in). It's about passion, and I don't have it, for anything. Yeah, I like playing sports, baking, cooking, whatever, but I don't have that one thing I will work hard for and focus on... closest would probably be making power points but seriously making power points as my passion, I want something more than that.
Some people may be on their way to chasing their dreams now, some people are probably already there...I envy not your success but your decision to focus on something, to have something to dream about. Long story short:college is over; I am more accountable; life feels like it sucks right now (except for my love life, actually); I feel like I can't move because I am not passionate about anything.
How the hell can you have passion for something? Oh wise one, teach me.
Maybe it's not power points what your passion is but it seems to be at least the nearest point to it. I've watched in awe how you are able to convince people with your amusing, and subtle game-changer, sympathy getting marketing skills. Maybe this is something you are more than adept to. I say this because it seems to me that getting a "yes" is just half the fun for you. The preparation on how you will get that "yes" seems more enjoyable. At least that's just my observation.
ReplyDeleteAwww. Thanks Ate. Appreciate it:)
DeleteHey Lou! Happy that you're back to blogging! :) Nothing could compare being able to express yourself in the form of writing and sharing it with your friends.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, hmm, now that we graduated from college, it's the time for us to figure out what we really want in life. And no matter how hard we try, we don't really stop. It doesn't end there. It's a constant struggle and cycle: we try this job, don't like it, then try another one. Trial and error.
Don't feel bad Lou, you are not alone in this. I and a lot of people feel and think the same way as you do. Yung hindi pa talaga alam ano gusto nila sa buhay. I honestly don't know what I'm doing with my life right now and where I'm headed but I remain hopeful that it's all going to be okay. So while finding out where our passions truly lie, at least we should do something about our situation. We work our way through it by showing up at our jobs and doing our best.
We are so young, we can still make mistakes. Even grown ups make mistakes, tayo pa! In the end, as we look back, at least we know we didn't waste our time. We did something about our situation. Keri lang, girl!
Miss you and the rest of the girls, Loulou! The best talaga to be in UClub's company! ♥
P.S. I wouldn't really know what field you're into/good at since we didn't have the chance to work together but you've always been liking marketing back in college, so you say! :)
Thanks Kat! I'm happy for you that you're taking the time to enjoy yourself . It's just hard to keep on doing something without realizing what it's really for. Especially now, I've got a selfish mindset, and what I want to know is...what's in it for me?
DeleteOh and no offense on my 2nd blog ha! I just realized there are some parts related to what you just said, saw it now lang! haha:)